


The Untold Stories of After

by kay_grrl34



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 08:17:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13700526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_grrl34/pseuds/kay_grrl34
Summary: Sometimes a tragedy is the only way to see past the lies and to the truth. But once the truth is found it is far too late to turn back and to make amends. Though you can continue forward by learning from your mistakes. Because kings can make mistakes too. That is the fate of being human.





	The Untold Stories of After

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone this actually my first time writing a Merlin fanfic!  
> And I'm super excited and pumped with creativity! I hope you guys like it.  
> Merlin does not belong to me but to its prospective owners.

It was a boy this time 16 maybe 17 summers Merlin can only guess, as he watched the guards drag a young frightened boy to the pyre that he has since begun to hate. Every time that pyre was constructed he felt so much anger, grief, and betrayal. Anger because he can not do anything for that poor boy without risking himself, grief knowing that the young boy will soon die because of something as idiotic as healing a deer with magic, and betrayal as Merlin stands by Arthur's side on that balcony watching as they all burned while he stayed safe. It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair to watch a mother scream for her child as the boy tried reaching for her to no avail. Merlin's stomach clenched significantly as the boy was tied to the post crying only having eyes for his mother as Arthur began to speak.

"Adam Weasley! You are charged for the use of sorcery and by the laws of Camelot you are hereby sentenced to death," Arthur bellowed over the courtyard, showing no remorse as the guards lit up the pyre with just the wave of his hand. Sometimes Merlin thinks of Arthur as a brother that he always wants to annoy to harass just for fun and other times he can't help but see Uther the tyrant king whenever he looks at him. Yes, Arthur's view on magic has indeed changed but not where it truly counted and that's where Merlin feels that he has failed.

Merlin watched hands clenched behind him as he tried to ignore the Mother crying for her son and the boy's cries of pain as the flames finally reached him as he tried to struggle against his bounds. He couldn't look he just couldn't as he closed his eyes and try to think of anything else, see anything else but this. He can feel Gauis' sympathy as he laid his hand on his lower back and softly patted him before pulling away, Merlin appreciated it but he knew that he didn't deserve it. Why should he? When he too should be at that same exact spot where that boy stood for far worse things than healing a deer, far worse. It just isn't fair.

To say the least, it was a long day after that. With chores from both sides, Gaius made him go to the forest and gather some herbs that didn't grow anywhere near each other and made Merlin two hours late to bring Arthur his lunch then deliver medicines to his patients. Then Arthur as punishment for being late had to clean his room, polish his armor, clean his boots, do his laundry, muck out the stables, and walk his mangy mutts that Merlin swears that he just keeps them to torture him with and all before dinner! Then to top it all off, Arthur had him stay late with him in his chambers to go over an 'important' speech that couldn't wait until the next day! He felt inspired Arthur had said! Yeah inspired to torture Merlin some more after having done so much today!

"Merlin if you're going to complain you might as well do something useful," Arthur said as he looked up at him from his parchment with an amused gleam in his eye.

"Hey, I've been doing a lot today alright! And you couldn't wait until tomorrow to do this! I knew you were a prat but this darn right evil!" Merlin exclaimed as looking at Arthur from across the table then pointing to all the different speeches that they had made for the past 5 hours! "We have re-written and fixed so many speeches in these last few hours I literally see the speech in my brain!" as Merlin threw his arms up in frustration.

Arthur chuckled as he smirks at him, "well we both know how empty it is up there so it's good that it is remembering something useful," he mocked as Merlin just frowned at him, "and yes it is severely important that this speech is perfect. It is rare that all the kings of the 5 kingdoms come together like this and it is an honor that they will all be coming to Camelot to bring peace to our kingdoms."

Merlin leaned back as he looked up at the ceiling with a begging expression, "why me!? Why couldn't you have been sick or something! Or better yet fallen down the stairs so I can have an excuse not to be here!" he pushed his hands in front of him in a sign of prayer.

"Even if you did fall down the stairs I would have sent the guards after you and forced you up here. Now go to the kitchen and get some snacks I'm feeling a little peckish after all this writing and do hurry Merlin I don't want to be waiting all night for you to bring some food!" Arthur stated in a kingly matter and oh so serious expression but the amusement in his eyes and how much he knows Arthur caused Merlin to get up from his chair in the most dramatic way possible he still looked to the ceiling looking hopeless.

"Why! I knew you were evil, only someone as evil as a prat would do such a thing!" Merlin practically yelled at him as he finally looked away from the ceiling to meet Arthur's amused face.

"Merlin I am the king and you can not address me so!" Arthur stated as he turned back to his parchment, "now hurry up! I don't want to starve to death!"

"Oh yes my radiant evilness anything the king prat wishes, I live to serve you" Merlin stated sarcastically as he bowed mockingly and he walked out the door with a triumphant expression as he narrowly dodged a flying cup.

Usually walking to the kitchens from Arthur's chambers is 10 minutes but Merlin decided that it was wonderous and a good way to get back at the prat was to take the long way to the kitchen which takes about 15 minutes and at the moment Merlin was feeling particularly lazy today and was walking quite slow to the kitchen which led to him getting to the kitchen in 20 minutes. Arthur wasn't the only one who could be evil at times Merlin had thought as he pushed the door open with a smile before stopping as dread spread throughout his body. There sitting alone in the kitchen quietly crying amongst the many cleaned pots and pans that have yet to be put away as she used a rag to wipe away a tear or two whispering to herself was the Mother of Adam Weasly.

For 5 minutes Merlin stood there watching her contemplating whether he should walk away and tell Arthur that he doesn't need another hole in his belt and damn the consequences before she even realized that he was there. And as he slowly backed up to the door he didn't realize the pot that lay abandoned behind him as he tripped over it creating a booming sound that echoed through the room. The Mother quickly stood up and whirled around to see who it was that had disturbed her this time a night she glared at Merlin as if he had dared to intrude on her alone time.

Merlin attempted to lighten up the mood while rubbing his head smiling sheepishly, "sorry ma'am I suppose my clumsiness knows no bounds, 'eh?" he joked with a breathy chuckle.

But she was not having it she simply glared at him harder before 'harrumphing' and sitting down harshly on the stool that she was recently sitting on while aggressively grabbing a nearby rag and pan as she scrubbed at it furiously not even daring to acknowledge him.

Merlin sighed as he awkwardly stood up from where he fell as he cautiously made his way around the room as if she was some ferocious monster that was ready to strike if he set a single toe out of line. Merlin grabbed a plate off one shelf before making his way to the pantry, he grabbed two apples and a stem full of grapes than to the table in the middle of the room where the leftover pastries were kept. He has never felt so awkward in his life he can nearly feel his body burn by the glares that she was constantly giving, "so, ugh, isn't it a little late to be working at this time of night?" Merlin asked her hoping to calm the atmosphere a bit but her only response was a glare.

"Yeah well me too. The king well he decided to make his manservant stay up and help with a speech that he doesn't have to give until next week honestly I think he only does it to annoy me, "Merlin trailed, he had no idea why he was even talking to her since it was pretty obvious that she wanted nothing to do with him if her glares was anything to go by but he was feeling so awkard at this moment that he couldn't help but talk, "and after having such a long day like I did having to go everywhere for Gauis and doing everything for the king you would think he would cut me a break. But nooooooo! He decided today of all days to be the biggest Prat in the-"

"What the hell do you want!" she suddenly bellowed causing Merlin to nearly drop the plate full of his master's snack for the evening.

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked confusedly feeling a little fearful for his life as she pounced from her stool to stand in front of him with her finger wagging in his face.

"You! What do you want!" she yelled furiously, "you come in here causing all this noise joking around in here as if that was gonna make it better! Talking to me about a king that I do not want to hear about after what he has done. After what he has done to my boy!" her face was red at this point as more tears welled in her eyes and the anger slowly faded from her only leaving room for her despair, "he killed him! He killed my boy! After what, healing a deer! How is that fair that I would have lost my boy, my son after he did something so kind! So sweet! He didn't do anything WRONG! And you stood there!" she was sobbing placing her hands over her face as dropped down once again on her stool, "you all just stood there as my son was burned for something he had no control over. They say he was a traitor to Camelot, NO, they betrayed him! He has done nothing but tries to be good and take care of his family and the animals! He's not a traitor, he's not a traitor, how can the laws of Camelot tell me that I'm not allowed to grieve for my boy! MY SON! When he has done nothing wrong for me to ever disown him! My son is not a traitor! All of you are! You all are the traitors, not him! Never him he is not a traitor" and she said this over and over slowly rocking herself back and forth sobbing profusely.

Merlin sighed placing the plate on the table beside him before kneeling beside her and placing a hand on her shoulder, "no matter what anyone tells you or the laws may convey" Merlin says to her softly in a reassuring manner, "nothing will ever say that he isn't your son. You have every right to grieve for your son as he is yours and not theirs," Merlin states using his hand to pull her to him so she may cry on his shoulder. "No matter what you have every right to scream to yell and throw whatever you like because even though a sorcerer had died today, he will always be your son before he is ever a sorcerer and so grieve for you are in the right." She sobbed even harder grabbing onto his arms in a tight grip as she yelled to the heaven for the loss of her son. Merlin's previous emotions of seeing that poor boy being burned on the pyre came back tenfold as he let out a single tear. In the corner of Merlin's eye, he had seen someone standing in the middle of the doorway, he had thought that it was a guard that was passing through to come see what all the yelling was about when he looked up there was no one there. Merlin wondered if maybe he had imagined it.

"He was such a good boy" she whimpered as she pulled away slightly so she could speak to him, Merlin getting distracted looked down to her to give her the attention that no one would give her, "I have known from the very beginning that he has magic, expected it even."

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked confused.

"His father was a wizard same as any witch their magic comes to them at a later time in their lives but they develop their magic much sooner than witches, my husband may not have been the most powerful wizard but he did indeed have power and what he did with it was simply a sight to behold. For our anniversary he summoned rose petals to fall from the sky during our evening picnic. He was quite the romantic that way" she chuckled, "and my boy was every bit like him right down to his magic. And when his power had made themselves known on his 13th birthday well, to say the least, we were all surprised that day, so as a gift from his father I gave him his magic book so he could practice. I did not know that that would be the worst and happiest decision of my life. His father killed when he was 5 just because he was saving children from a burning building and of course he was blamed for it and he was sentenced to death on that same pyre that I swore that I would protect my son from! How lousy of a Mother was I to let my son die the same way as his father! As a Mother, I was supposed to protect my son from anything that would harm him and when it came to where it truly counted I failed him! My poor boy, my poor Adam!"

Merlin pulled her to him again as he rocked her to give her as much comfort as he can give her, "tell me about him, you said that he helped the animals?" he asked her, trying to distract her from her grief so she can look back on happier times with her son.

"Haha, yes that boy helped animals as much as he could. Takes after his father in that one the most, I believe when he first started to love animals was when he and his father were out playing in the grass while I was drying our clothes on the clothesline, when suddenly a bird appeared out of nowhere crashing harshly onto the ground and from the looks of things the bird was quite injured, broken wing I believe" Merlin smiled softly as he watched the woman calm as she talked about her husband and son as she smiled softly herself as her eyes glazed over as she thought of happier times. "Mathew went immediately to the bird and of course Adam wasn't too far behind, he was always the curious type that boy that's the only trait that he has ever gotten from me sadly but it suited him. Mathew had picked up the tiny bird and kneeled down before Adam and told him that every life was precious and in everything there is life and within every life no matter how big or how small there is magic. That all magic comes from the Earth and to show their respect to all of its creatures that they should protect it for without the Earth there is no magic and without the Earth, then mankind would have never been given the chance to learn from the Earth and learn how to use its magic and then just like that he healed the bird and set it free. I saw Adam's face when that bird took flight filled with so much wonder. When his died days later it had crushed him he cried to me yelled to me why the king killed his father when he was one of the Earth's creations just like him. I didn't know what to tell him I still don't know what to tell him nor will I ever have the chance to tell him."

Merlin sighed as she cried once more, "your husband sounds like a wonderful man very wise. I'm sure that your son was very compassionate if he was anything like your husband."

She continued to cry when she laughed to herself giving herself some time before continuing, "yes he was. In the beginning when he first developed his powers, one evening he brought home an injured bird with a broken wing, he sat in his room for hours trying to master the spells to heal it. I had to practically drag him from his room so he could eat his supper he was so determined that boy. I had not realized at the time but he would stay up the whole night to keep the bird company during his times when he wasn't trying to cast his healing spells."

"Did he manage to heal the bird?" Merlin asked, wanting to know more about the boy he will never know whose life was cut far too short.

She laughed tremendously, "oh yes he did! The very next morning he comes barreling through the door with the biggest smile that I have ever seen before ushering me out of bed and let me tell you it is never a good idea to try to wake me from my bed. And brings me to his room to the bird and together we stood side by side as the bird flew from his hand. Even though it was a touching moment I nearly wanted to kill him. It was barely morning yet when he woke me up!" she joked laughing all the same causing Merlin to chuckle a bit seeing that her mood was better he let her go as he watched her from his place on the floor as she talked about her son. Watching her as her hands moved wildly as she talked about the mishaps and the crazy things that Adam had done during his time on this Earth.

They talked for sometime though Merlin did not know for how long but he knew that Merlin was very late to bring the food to the king but seeing this woman before him laughing as she did at this depressing and unforgiving time Merlin couldn't help but think that it was worth it, when Merlin finally did go back to Arthur's room. In fact, he would happily go to the stocks or to the horses and with a smile knowing that he had made this woman happy and forget her troubles even if it was a while.

He smiled and laughed when she told him a story of how Adam had gotten their kitchen dirty when he decided to make dinner for them one evening but even for the mess Mrs. Weasley couldn't help but admit that Adam had much potential to be a wonderful cook. She told Merlin that he must have cheated somehow on using his magic to make his food taste so good that she didn't admit it to her son but she was jealous that he could cook so well and would have made him cook from then on forward if he didn't make such monumental messes.

They laughed sometime before she calmed wiping away a tear from her eyes as she looked at Merlin with a grateful expression, "thank you."

Merlin immediately became bashful his whole face suddenly a flamed and he brought his left hand to rub his head, "what do you mean I didn't do anything."

She smiled, "you are wrong about that. I was so filled with grief and hatred towards the king I believe that if I had been alone any longer then I would have done something incredibly foolish. But you came here because of that very same man who killed my son only to be comforted by his manservant on his orders to come to the kitchen to get him some supplements for the evening! I am not angry anymore well not really," she stated as she looked down at her blistered hands from the scrubbing that she had done in her grief.

"What do you mean that you aren't angry?" Merlin asked curious, even though she didn't say it but in her grief of her son, she would have gone after Arthur. Thank the goddesses that he was here to stop her he didn't think that he would be able to handle much more meaningless executions.

"I was angry before that the king had taken away my boy but now having you here and reliving all of my past memories of my son and my husband, they wouldn't have wanted this for me. To wallow in my grief and wanting revenge against someone who doesn't know the first thing about magic. It isn't Arthur's fault that he was brought up this way he never learned about magic while growing up only that it was 'evil' and that is why I can forgive him but at the same time I will never forgive what he has done in his ignorance. He has ruled for 5 years and has yet to try to understand magic and try to understand why exactly why magic is frowned upon before taking it upon himself to hate magic just because others hate it too! It is ignorant and it is something that I will never forgive for as long as I shall live," she stated sadly, "I do feel sorry for him to never learn the joy of what true magic can be, well I have taken up too much of your time as it is I should really head out now, I have a friend who lives in the servant quarters and I am sure she will not mind that I stay the night with her. But I do wish I can go home before I couldn't bear the thought of going home knowing full well that he will not be there and now I can't help but be filled with longing, to be surrounded in reminders of my son than ever before," she smiled as she stood up wiping away the 'dirt' from her skirt her eyes still sad yet happy as she gave him a small smile.

"Well I am glad to be of some help to you Mrs. Weasley and do not worry about the kitchen I will clean the rest so you go on ahead and get the rest you deserve" Merlin offered as placed his hand on her back as he led her to the door.

She smiled at him appreciatively, "do call me Margrette considering all you have done for me tonight and don't you dare say it was nothing for I felt heavy with sadness but now I feel so light but empty," she sighed fidgeting on her skirt, "it will take some time before I can move on but I suppose that I am moving in the right direction. But my only regret was not taking my son away from Camelot the very moment his father died. I had considered it then but even my husband had yet to be sure that our son will even be a magic user. Though I wish I had still considered it then maybe my son would still be alive now and maybe my husband could have as well since he was the one who mentioned it to me when Adam was born. But what's done is done I can't do any more than continue on forward as my husband and my son would have wanted for me. Well, good night young man and thank you once more."

And with a sweet hug goodbye, she left the kitchen leaving Merlin to his thoughts feeling guiltier than he had before, just like her he had many regrets and one of them being that he would be the one to stay alive while many like him will continue to die because he has been doing his job as Emrys poorly. Why had the goddesses chosen him for this task he hasn't made any progress since Uther was still alive and he was still yet nowhere near trying to convince Arthur that magic isn't as evil as many have portrayed.

When Margrette had left he made straight away to cleaning the kitchen by using a bit of magic here and there before rushing out to Arthur's chambers with his snacks and to say the least Arthur was not pleased to have waited so long for his snacks and had punished him to muck the horses FOR THE WHOLE WEEK. It just wasn't fair. But even then as Merlin continued to help him with the rest of speech he noticed that Arthur was acting a bit strange but Merlin thought that it was because he was getting a bit tired like Merlin was.

It was not long before Arthur had retired for the night and gave Merlin the morning off considering that the sun will be rising in just 5 hours. So Merlin supposed that Arthur was planning on sleeping in tomorrow and judging by his schedule Merlin thought that Arthur could afford to do so as he had nothing to really attend to until the start of the afternoon. Merlin said goodnight to the king before heading back to his room his mind wandering back to Margrette and her son and at that moment Merlin couldn't help but feel hopelessly depressed. Knowing that once he went to bed that night he will be filled with nightmares of Adam being burned on the pyre yelling at him that Merlin had betrayed him that Merlin will never fulfill his destiny. These dreams come naturally to him now as they are filled with the many sorcerers that had died because of that damned pyre and even in his dreams he could do nothing for them. It just wasn't fair.

Once in Gaius' chambers, he immediately went to Gaius' aimless supply of sleeping draught that wasn't as potent so he can wake just in time to get Arthur's lunch and still have a restful dreamless sleep.

And he woke the next day and as he had suspected just in time to get Arthur's lunch and after doing so Merlin went straight away to his chambers but to his surprise to find the King already up and dressed and standing silently gazing out the window towards the kingdom as he often does when he was in thought.

"My what a sight you can actually dress," Merlin lightly taunted though from the ordeal from yesterday his tone was somewhat somber he tried to cover it up by being as cheery as possible. Merlin wasn't sure that he was doing an excellent job thus far but if the king had noticed he made no comment. Though the king didn't really say much of anything really as he seemed a bit thoughtful this afternoon. "Are you alright sire?" Merlin asked placing a hand on his shoulder, he has never seen the king this silent or this thoughtful before whatever he was thinking about seemed serious, "I have brought you your lunch."

Arthur jumped once Merlin had touched his shoulder indicating that he had not realized that Merlin had even entered in the first place, Arthur coughed before straightening himself, "yes well it's about time I thought I was going to be without lunch and had to get it myself" he mocked before walking to the table to begin his meal.

"yeah yeah well I'm sure his highness will see a great benefit from it as it would save me the trouble of placing another hole in your belt" Merlin grinned as he dodged a flying cup.

With this Merlin and Arthur began their usual banter while Arthur ate, Merlin noticed that Arthur didn't look troubled now then he did before he had guessed that whatever he was thinking of before wasn't that important as they continued on their day as they would any other day.

But it was not until days later when Merlin had figured what it was that Arthur was thinking of when one-day Arthur had summoned Margrette Weasley to the throne room.

There Arthur sat regally upon his throne with his crown neatly in place Merlin at his side as he has before but feeling a little anxious as Merlin stared worriedly at Margrette who stood in the middle of the throne room standing tall Merlin assumed that she didn't want to give her son's murderer the pleasure to see how affected she was about the murder of her son. Merlin thought that she may have gone back on her word and done something awful and attempted on the king's life but was caught before she could have done any serious damage. And by judging by Arthur's kingly facade there was no doubt that she may have done something.

"My lord," she said simply as she bowed dutifully to Arthur gazing at him with a strong expression that revealed that there is no more than Arthur can do to harm her more emotionally than he has already done, "have I done something wrong?" Merlin could see that Margrette was confused so maybe her trying to act against the king wasn't the reason she was called then but for what reason was she called for?

"No Mrs. Weasley it is not you who has done something wrong," the king stated, all the court began to whisper throughout the throne room but calmed when Arthur continued on, "I have done you a great injustice and that is something that can not be forgiven or taken likely."

Margrette began to gasp for breath as Merlin could guess that she was in great disbelief and confusion very much as he was as Arthur wasn't the one to apologize and it's very rare that he does.

"What do you mean my lord?" Margrette whispered as she placed a hand over her mouth.

"What I mean is, I had heard you the other night in kitchens and from you say I can agree with you on somethings one of which that I do have a long way to go when it is concerning magic. Even I have found that my dislike for magic has come from the opinion of others and to apologize for the wrong that I have caused you," Arthur stood from his throne as he walked towards a tearful Margrette placing a comforting hand on her arm, "I had believed of my views on magic and that I was riding Camelot of an evil sorcerer but now I see the only thing I was riding was a Mother's son. It will take me some time to see what you mean by pure magic but if you can teach me I will be more than a willing student, will you teach me Margrette, will you teach how to see magic through your eyes?" There was a gasp throughout the room as the court gossiped amongst themselves in shock of what their king had just said and to say the least Merlin was as well as he looked to Gaius who was standing amongst the court with a shocked expression which Gaius reciprocated.

Margrette began to sob, choked up and filled with too much emotion to speak she simply nodded giving a large smile as she did so, then she did the unexpected and embraced Arthur and to Merlin's surprise, Arthur allowed her simply held as he allowed her to cry into his chest. It was sometime before she pulled away, "there will be some knights outside they will escort you to your home where you will bring your belongings and live within the castle where you will be in comfort for the rest of your days."

Margrette bowed to him smiling so madly that it brightened the entire room, "I will teach you all I can my lord as I am sure it would be what my son and my husband would want. And it is something that I want to do as well you shall not regret this, my lord, I swear it" she bowed once more before heading to the door where the knights waited for her.

To say the least that this was very shocking, so much so that many people of the court tried to get Arthur to reconsider on his offer they were all set in their way on magic and seeing that Arthur wanted to learn more about it and from the recent dead sorcerer's mother no less, it was unorthodox, to say the least. But of course, wouldn't hear any of it as he has already made his decision and if you didn't know Arthur than you would know that once he had his mind set there is nothing you can do to persuade him otherwise.

And once he dismissed the court there was only this Merlin could say, "why?"

This was a simple question but filled with so much meaning. Such as why now? Why learn about magic now? Why after all these years of being attacked, hurt, and seen so much pain caused by magic that he decided that he wanted to learn more about it? And why didn't he say anything to Merlin before?

Arthur sighed as he sat down heavily on his throne, "after all these years I have had my doubts about magic and every time my doubts were answered and I was right to think that magic was evil and there is nothing else to think about. But what I never considered was what happens after they die. Yes they had a family just like the rest of us, even if Guinevere's father died in association with a sorcerer I saw how heartbroken she was when he died and even though she tried to be brave and tried to act strong I knew she was greatly affected by it and with her banishment I realize why she felt that way. Yes, I believed that he had no idea that the man was a sorcerer but at the time had anyone else had been in Thomas' position I wouldn't have hesitated to put him under the ax. But now I see that it is wrong to some degree and no matter whom it will be someone is going to be hurt."

"But didn't you tell me that you were considering this I would have..." Merlin wasn't sure what he would have done.

"And say what exactly! Oh, Merlin, I went to the kitchen's because you were taking so long and yeah I saw you talking to the woman about her dead son that I killed no wait MURDERED is more like it. And was angry when she said that I ruled in ignorance when I finally realized that she was right! Never in my 5 years in ruling decided that maybe that I should do more research on the workings of magic so I can better understand it so my ruling can be just and true but no! She was right I have been ignorant! At least my father had some understanding before he decided that magic was evil my whole basis was due to others telling me so! Who knows what I have done wrong in my ignorance how many have I killed just because I believed magic was 'evil'! And oh yes and did you bring the muffins I like those they are my favorite. What did you expect me to say, Merlin?"

Merlin sighed he felt annoyed that he had kept this from him, joyful that he was finally wanting to know more about magic, and sad that all it took was one death of a sorcerer and the despair of a Mother to get him there. Before he came to a sudden realization, "is that why you have been a little off lately and spending so much time with Geoffery these last few days? Were you doing research? And it wouldn't matter what you have said you still should have told me, even though I don't look like much I would have been able to help you the best I can. If not I then maybe Gauis could have. You didn't have to do this on your own" Melin felt a bit hurt that he didn't come to him when he was considering this rather important decision that could very well change all of Camelot if all went well.

"Look, Merlin, I get it that you wanted help but this was something that I had to come to terms with on my own. For all my life I have only known fighting and taking care of this kingdom and protecting it from magic at all costs but to know that I could be wrong about this, I felt so ashamed to take away her only son just because of my prejudice and to know that she had lost a husband after doing a heroic deed that if it had been anyone who had done it they would have been acknowledged and be celebrated for it but his reward was death," Arthur pinched his eyes seemingly tired as if he hadn't gotten any sleep recently and that might have well been true, "No, Merlin, this was something that I had to figure out and consider on my own, and during my research, I didn't want any outside opinions to counter my judgment and give me second thoughts or make me think that what I was doing was wrong. I wanted to come to terms with everything before I brought it to the court and I knew that Margrette was the best place to start."

Merlin frowned at his king as he noticed Arthur was berating himself for being an 'awful' king, yes he has done wrong but who hasn't! This is his whole life that Arthur was talking about, it was only natural that he would act this way but to say that he was a horrible king because of it was awful. "My lord you are not a horrid king. You had done what you believed to be true this is how you grew to be, this what you have heard since the day of your birth it is of no surprise that you wouldn't be weary like the rest of them, if not more from the many attempts on your life. No one is blaming you my lord" Merlin tried to reason with him and before he could say more Arthur merely put his hand up to stop before using that same hand to pull the crown from his head and look at it solemnly.

"Do you believe that I deserve this crown, Merlin? I heard you that night when you were speaking to her, even after all this time I had not realized that you supported magic and I have known you for years. I was angry with you for some time when during trying times you would tell me magic was evil only to go around and tell that woman that it was alright. I would have believed that it was just another woman grieving over her son a sorcerer who broke the law, I have seen many grieve Merlin but my thought has always been that they chose the break the law and there was nothing that I can do to change it," he stormed up from his throne pacing back and forth, Merlin could see that he was being driven by pure emotion alone.

"But now I see that I have been wrong to not realize that not only can you learn but be born with it as well if my research has taught me anything. But it wasn't that that got to me, it was when she said that the sorcerer's in the kingdom were my people too was what really hurt me. I try to aspire to be a true and just king to treat my people well only to hear that the sorcerer's the very thing that I have been told to kill were my people too," Arthur sighed as his expression turned furious and threw his crown in anger across the room as he always does when he's angry but this was different, very different. This is the first time that he has ever thrown his crown.

Merlin ran and jumped before the crown before it can hit the ground not before throwing it about before getting a good a handle on it, Arthur, if he was in his right mind, would have laughed and mocked him for running around like a chicken without a head. When Merlin was able to get his handle on the crown, he sighed happily to be able to catch the crown without it hitting the ground, he thought this as an accomplishment as he is not as clumsy as he first had been, before arriving for Camelot.

"Look Arthur you might be a prat but you're nowhere near tyrant level prat yet in fact even if you tried reaching for it it would be so out of your reach that there would be no hope that you will ever be a tyrant well you are really but only to me for some reason, why exactly I have no idea. I have too much to do without you having to give me this many chores, well wait a moment I just realized you are a tyrant!" as if having a sudden realization Merlin charged up to Arthur, who was once again sitting upon his throne looking very emotionally stressed and punched him in the arm, "you damn prat!"

Arthur though confused was rather annoyed, "I tell you exactly how I feel and you mock me as well as pun-" but he was cut off when he felt the familiar weight on his head.

Merlin bent over to get in eye level with him and stared in his eyes with the most serious expression that Arthur has ever seen, "what I'm trying to say is and just as I have said in the beginning when you first got the crown after your coronation, don't you remember? A crown does not define you, a crown doesn't make a king it is their wisdom and their good deeds is what makes them a good king" Arthur opened his mouth to say something but Merlin cut him off before he could say something, "and an even better king would realize his mistakes and try to make amends to them. Arthur, not many would do what you are doing now, you may be king but you are also human just like the rest of us okay you are going to make mistakes and that is fine. It just took you time that's all."

"Time?" Arthur asked feeling unsure, "it took this long to consider this and all it took was the death of her son to do it? Surely that is not worth forgiving."

"Yes, time. Arthur if you heard anything as you said you had then you would have heard that she has already forgiven you and now that because of her that you are willing to learn about magic and you are feeling guilty and now she will be more than willing to forgive you now. Though I would be a fool to say that she would forgive you right away with time, as it states, will heal all wounds. You will learn together and in turn, forgive yourselves and each other," Merlin said placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort, "but you must be willing Arthur. When it comes to magic, it may have my support but it is a tricky thing there will be things that you will learn that will enlighten you but just as it is good there is bad and sadly that is all you know so please when you speak with her, try to be as opened minded as possible."

"Yes, Merlin I understand but..." Arthur trailed off placing a hand over his face in frustration.

"But?" Merlin asked.

"But this is all I've ever seen. All my years I've been attacked, hurt, nearly killed by magic just as I have lost many others from it. I'm against all my instincts by doing this. Going against all I have ever learned, I'm just-" Arthur stops before looking up at Merlin, "I don't know what I feel."

Afraid.

He was afraid and Merlin knew it.

But if he said anything he will just deny it.

But Merlin will be there for him no matter what and protect him just as he always has.

"Then my lord we shall do what we have always done. Just as Camelot was not built in one day it surely was not built by one man. I shall always stand beside you no matter the consequence but not because you are my king but because you are my friend and just as many friends do when their friend is in need I'll help you as much as possible so you are not alone in this. But not just myself, Gaius and the knights will stand beside you in case you are not sure. You never need to do anything on your own sire because if you do it can be very boring at times" Merlin joked placing a hand on Arthur's shoulder, Arthur looked at him in awe and with much emotion before smoothing himself over as his kingly side took over once again but he still had a slight smile on his face.

"For a man so clumsy, so idiotic, you can be the wisest man I know," Arthur chuckled placing his hand over Merlin's tapping at it a few times before getting up from his throne. He placed an arm around Merlin's shoulders guiding him to the doors, "are you ready for this my friend because now that you have offered your services I can predict many sleepless nights in your future" Arthur laughed as Merlin groaned beside him but didn't give any more protests as Merlin was more than happy to help Arthur understand magic. But Merlin couldn't help kiss his night's goodbye as he knew that he was going to be quite grumpy these next few weeks.

But for his lord and friend, he will do anything for him and with him if it meant leading Camelot into a better and brighter future. Though Merlin just wishes that it didn't involve him losing sleep because of it. As they walked out of the throne room with Arthur in better spirits then he has in a long time. The pair smiling from ear to ear with how happy they were to have each other.

It was then Merlin knew that he wouldn't regret a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, hope you guys loved the story.  
> I definitely had fun writing it.  
> And even if it was my first time writing a Merlin fanfic I'm super proud of it.  
> So please leave a review and tell me what you think!  
> Bye Bye!


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